Once, I was asked by a good friend what's it like to loose a parent. Well! I'd lost both my parents....Frankly speaking, its a Nothingness...The greatest lost that is non-replaceable! My mom died in 1980 while my dad in 1985. Both had been my bosom buddies...really my parents especially my mom was my closest pal. I could talk to her about anything; my fears, feelings, crushes...she'd be understanding and non-judgemental. She would just smiled or brush away my tears, if any. She'd let me rant on and on until I'm done. Then, in her gentle tone she'd consoled and hugged me! In my mind's eye, I could still see her, hear her soft voice and feel her warm hug.
As for my dad, he was stern, disciplinarian and....(hmm) putty in my hands. He's strict, al right...but understanding! I had a lot of escapades and got away scot free..hehhehhh! I was mischievous, naughty, tomboyish...and most importantly, a high achiever. Really, I'm not trying to gloat! I had always been a high achiever...I excelled in academics and sports. I had been the recipient of many scholarships and awards since primary school to higher institution. In fact, my education was self-paying and my parents had no worries. As for sports, I had my share of glory in athletics and hockey. Until today, I could still feel the adrenaline rush and a heady sensation whenever I watch the World Athletics Meet and Olympics. There were times that I wish I could remain young and compete in the arena...but that's a foolish thought!
Yeah...my parents would beamed and exclaimed "camtu lah anak mak, anak ayah...mesti menang!" We had a special cabinet for my countless trophies; mostly athletics and hockey, stage-acting, debate, oratory competitions, and lots more. To all of us, these hard-won trophies were priceless but became a bane with the coming of festivities. We had to spend hours to polish the trophies! My sister and I would be arguing and cursing one another for the extra workload...Ha..Ha..Ha..Those were the days!
As I said, my parents were really proud and favoured me the most. The thing was, I had always been independent and confident of myself, embraced with their love for me. So when they were gone, it was like a kick in the stomach when reality crept in.
With our parents gone, we are nobody! There's no one we can lean on and we are at the mercy of everyone. It's just like a brood of chicken that has lost the mother hen! Noboby respect, listen or considers your feeling. As the Malay proverb says "bagai mentimun dengan durian, dilenyek ke kiri pun lumat, ke kanan pun lumat". Only now, do we realise the kind of respect that we'll garner when our parents were alive!
How much can your relatives, siblings or even your husband fill the void that's left by your parents? Nothing much....Even though they may love and cherish you, it won't be the same as the love bestowed upon you by your parents....Believe me!!!
If only I could turn back the clock, I'm willing to go to world's end to give my parents anything that they desire. As it is, they died when I was still studying...my mom died a few days before my convocation while my dad died a few years later, after I had just landed a job, two months after returning from abroad. Thus, I didn't get the opportunity to shower them with their hearts desires.
How I wish my children had the opportunity to know their grandparents and be showered with their love, just as I had. How I wish my husband had the opportunity to know my mom, then he would realise the true meaning of motherly love which is unquestionable, undivided and immeasurable! Yeah...that's unfortunate!
Anyway, for all those who read my blog, remember to cherish your parents. Shower them with your love and never utter any 'urghs' or the word 'malas' to them. Most of all, never belittle them, retort or hurt them with your words or actions. Love them till the end of your days and you'll be blessed by GOD. Then God's willing, everything in life will run smoothly for you!!!
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